Pancreatic Cancer Sucks

     I've held off with this post, because it was too raw to put into words. My best friend from growing up, the girl I hung with, from 0 to 16 years old, died last week after a long and difficult fight against pancreatic cancer. She was 48.  She moved to the West Coast when we were in high school, and we've always kept in touch. She married a cop, and I flew out for the wedding. That was 21 years ago. Some friendships are life long.  I'm thinking now they survive even after that.  I can't imagine not knowing what happens with her daughters, or her brother that we grew up with, or both her parents, who are still alive. 
     Her funeral was such a tribute to her life.  Every group of friends were represented, even her horse came.  After the church service, that included several eulogies, and a media presentation, we went to the cemetary.  THEN back to her house, for food and sharing.  There were such crowds, but it always seemed calm and loving.  Friends of hers I had heard of but never met had me stay with them in their home, and 'hang' with them thru the services before I flew back home.  It made a difficult time more bearable.
     Since my theme is change, I was thinking what I would change about our friendship.  I guess, it would have been to made more of an effort to get together more.  The West Coast always seemed so far, but I managed to get there and back in 2 1/2 days for a funeral, didn't I?  I really wouldn't change much, we were good the way we were, but I will make more of an effort with my other friends to be the one who gets together, rather than waiting for someone else to plan something.    As far as my other changes are going, well, the new suits came in handy.  Geez, what a thing....  I didn't think about that when I shopped.  I'm still making an effort with hair and makeup.  I'm still thinking about going online to meet a guy, but I looked at PlentyofFish.com, a site someone in California said they had used, and there weren't many guys in my age group in my area.  I'm still mulling over that.  Oh well, I've got to go cry some more....  so I finish up here.  I just had to write about her a little.  She was my oldest friend, and like we used to laugh about, the one who knoew me the longest and STILL liked me!