Some Starts!

After much thoughts, pondering, obsessing and introspection, I came up with some things I need/want to change.  Some are superficial, some are going to take a while.  Here goes.....  it's a little scary putting this out into the universe....to admit, to myself, but mostly to others, that I need to change some stuff about me.  That kind of takes away the "All is well, it's all fine" persona.  But hey,  I didn't think this was going to be easy.

I need to change my look.  My style.  I need to go from boring, perhaps even a little frumpy, to modern.  I'm looking for a classic style, not hip, not trendy, just up to date and polished.  (Trust me, this isn't a list in order of importance!)  I need to use make up on a daily basis, not just for special occasions.  Not a lot, not goth eye circles, or Texas big-hair, just catch up to my peers in something I'm comfortable with.  Sweats are for the gym, and perhaps an errand to and fro, but not for everyday life out of work.  Clothes should fit, not just hang like a tent!  (I tend to keep wearing clothes I've undergrown!)....

     I need to expand my circle of friends, including guys!  I have a few good friends, and a large circle of acquaintances I know professionally.  BUT I tend to 'hang' with the same few, doing the same things, going the same places.  I need to break out...try new things, talk about new topics, go someplace outside my comfort zone.  I don't know how to make new friends.... it's such a common place thing when you're young.  Go to class, sit by someone, next thing you know you're at a party, or going for coffee, etc.  At 48, how do you casually ask someone new to do something...  Am I over thinking this?  I've worked in the same place for almost 2 decades...  Wouldn't it be weird if I asked my 'work' friends to go to the movies?  hmmm... and then the BIG thing... 
     I've NEVER asked a guy out.  It just wasn't done commonly when I was younger.  Then, after that, I always felt my weight got in the way.  I would certainly go out when asked, I just felt uncomfortable being the asker.  I've never gone on a blind date, because I felt that it would have been a BIG surprise for the guy.  My friends loved me, they usually never felt my weight was an issue, but I wouldn't let them fix me up.  I always thought the guy deserved to meet me first, in a group, and then could decide.  Wow....  maybe I over thought this too.  I went to the mall this week, there was a big make-up special.  Lord and Taylor's had 6 different make-up lines doing makeup makeovers and then a professional photographer took digital pictures of you.  I thought, if it turns out well, I might post it on a dating site, and try to meet a guy that way.  I'm just too out of practice to be flirty on line at the supermarket, or start a conversation in a bookstore, or anything else people recommend.  At least, online, I know the guy is also looking to meet someone.

OK, in summary, to ride the crest of the upcoming winds of change...I will
1.  Update/create a visual style.
2.  Make new friends.
3.  Meet a guy.

More to come....